How to motivate myself

 

I talk about motivating employees and the people we lead. But sometimes I too need help with motivation. I have been running an indie game design and publishing studio for the past 5 years, having released one game per year. This is my side hustle. I do it alongside my work as a leadership trainer. When I tell people I am a game designer and that I publish games, they are impressed. However it is not as glamourous as most people think. I spend much time, effort and money, creating and testing games, traveling and exhibiting at conventions, attending public events, managing logistics and sales. And sometimes I question myself - for what? What have I achieved? Is it worthwhile? Sometimes when I am bogged down by many issues, or tasks I'm poor at, or tasks that are necessary but unpleasant to me, I feel like shutting down and walking away. When you lose passion for your passion project, that project will probably die a slow death. 

I try to spend time with my friends and my community. Relationships and people are an important source of support and inspiration. When there are other people as crazy as you are, you don't feel lonely. They are jumping in right beside you. I sometimes take a break, do something else, come back refreshed. I think most importantly I need to remind myself I always have a choice to walk away. If I don't like this, I can walk away. There are costs and losses, and I just have to accept them if I choose to walk away. And then I find that I choose to stay. This is something I choose to do because I believe in the value behind it. I make that choice every day. 

How do I motivate my employees? #5

 

As opposed to looking at what leaders need to do to motivate employees, let's look at what they must not do because it demotivates people. What demotivates good people? Mediocrity. If I work hard and achieve results, but the guy next to me who just cruises gets the same pay and bonus as I do, I will question why am I going above and beyond. Good work must be recognised. Poor work must be penalised. It takes conscious effort to make sure these are done. 

Motivation is not about endlessly creating new incentives. It is just establishing a fair and merit-based culture. 

How do I motivate my employees? #4

Being leaders, one challenge we often think about is how to motivate our people to do good work. Here is one important angle on employee motivation shared by Jim Collins in the book Good to Great - Don't motivate your people. If your people need to be constantly motivated, you are doing it wrong. You should not have recruited them in the first place. 

Bring the right people on board, and put them in the right roles. You want people who motivate themselves and want to do well. You want people who enjoy and take pride in their work. Not people who need babysitting and constant pushing. 

How do I motivate my employees? #3

 

I learned this concept from one of my students. I was conducting a training session about motivating employees when I posed this question to the class - what motivates YOU at your work? Now according to the course content, the three major intrinsic motivations are autonomy, mastery and purpose. I waited for my students to mention reasons which were related to one of these, so that I could expand on them and explain the concepts. One answer took me by surprise because I could not easily fit it to any of the three. That answer was "I am motivated because I have a good team."

Many leadership principles and frameworks being taught in leadership training are developed by authors and thinkers from the west. That is why autonomy is one of the biggest motivators. Western culture is more individualistic. Here in the east, we have a different culture. We are collective. A feeling of belonging and being supported is often more important than the freedom to do things my way. 

As leaders, do we create such environments for our people? Where people enjoy working with their colleagues. Where people respect one another. Where people are always ready to help one another. I realise that in my own past experience, several times when I had difficult periods at work, it was because of, or for, the team around me, that I was able to persist. 

How do I motivate my employees? #2

 

To understand employee motivation, the concept of intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation is important. Extrinsic motivation is when people want to do a good job because it helps them achieve something else. I want to excel in my career so that I can be rich. I want to get good grades because my parents promised a prize. Intrinsic motivation is when people want to do a good job because they want to do a good job. I find what I do meaningful. I enjoy doing what I do. 

This is not to say extrinsic motivation doesn't work. It does, and sometimes it works very well. Sales incentives, bonuses, promotions. But once it is achieved, or when it is taken away, is the employee still driven to do a good job? I have witnessed first-hand how well a profit-sharing scheme worked in boosting sales over three quarters, and how sales immediately stalled when the scheme ended. 

As leaders, we must help our people discover their intrinsic motivation. That is what lasts, and that is the stronger motivation. Taking pride in your work, finding meaning in how your work serves the world, and being part of a supportive and high-performing team. There are more. The driving force is different for different people. We cannot enforce one. There is no single answer. We help people find their own answer. 

How do I motivate my employees? #1

 

This is one of the questions I get asked many times. Let's do a series to explore this topic. In the context of the workplace, the elephant in the room is compensation. All of us work for money. Don't believe anyone who tells you money doesn't motivate employees. It does. Just that it is not the only thing, and often it is not the most important thing. 

Money is several things at once. Money is survival. If we don't pay enough that our employees worry about making ends meet, they will not be able to focus. Money is fairness. If they are paid the same as a low-performing colleague, they will not be motivated to do well. Money is recognition and appreciation. A good boss gives praise for good work done, and also wants to give you tangible rewards. 

Money is a sanitary factor. If you don't pay enough, your employees will not be happy. If you pay enough, paying more does not increase employee satisfaction significantly. Once they are in a financially stable position, they look for more than money. As leaders we must think about what money means to our people. Money is not just money. 

Do you lead with fear?

 

Some leaders think they should lead with fear. They want their employees to fear them somewhat, because that's the most effective way to get things done. Some leaders who do lead with fear deny it even to themselves. They cannot bear to think of themselves as a bad boss that employees fear. They think of their employees as unconfident, incompetent and passive. 

Fear is a poor motivator. It motivates people only to avoid mistakes. It teaches people to avoid responsibility and accountability, because the less of these that you have, the smaller the chances of getting blamed. People who operate under fear are not creative or innovative. They do not dare to escalate issues they see for fear of getting penalised. They just want to stay out of trouble. 

I have observed one situation of an employee delaying telling their boss problems and waiting until there are several before escalating them all at one go. By then it is already rather late to address some of these problems. The rationale is if I'm going to get scolded by the boss, I'd rather just get scolded once for several things, instead of getting scolded several times separately. This sounds absurd, but this is very real. 

Motivate employees by pride in their work, by the drive to provide for their families, or by a sense of belonging. Don't motivate by fear. 

Master negotiator tip #8

 

In cross-cultural negotiations, focus on the person, not the culture. 

When we need to negotiate with a person from a different country, or industry, or background, we tend to be alert about the differences in culture, especially when we are not familiar with our counterpart's culture. It is a natural instinct and the intention is good. However we have to be careful not to make the wrong assumptions, read signals incorrectly, or to lose perspective because we incorrectly think that's what our counterpart's culture is like and we should accept it. 

One European company negotiating with an Asian company for the first time was surprised at how demanding their counterpart was. The Asian company told them that was the norm when conducting business in Asia, and they accepted that. Only later, after a lopsided deal had been signed, they learned that it was not true. 

Don't assume a person will be brash and aggressive in negotiations because of their nationality. Similarly don't assume a person will be reserved and rigid. Knowing the culture can be an initial guide, but it is more important to get to know the person, and to learn how best to work with them at a personal level. 

Master negotiator tip #7

 

Know your counterpart's intention. 

Is he here to take, or is he here to truly negotiate a give-and-take? Everyone wants a positive outcome from a negotiation, but not all negotiations will work out. If you identify early that your counterpart is manipulative and wants to take advantage of the situation, you may need to be prepared to walk away, or you must show your strong grasp of the situation and that you will not be easily forced into a bad deal. 

When you understand your opponent's intention, you will know how to better negotiate, and when to stop wasting time.

Master negotiator tip #6

 

Look beyond what you are negotiating. 

If both parties fixate on the price, and neither are willing to concede, the negotiation goes nowhere. You need to explore what else you can ask for from your counterpart which is also important to you, or what else you can offer which is important to them. 

When teaching negotiation skills, I give my students this negotiation scenario for discussion. A ship has been captured by pirates, and the pirates are asking the shipping company for a ransom. If you are the negotiator of the shipping company, what else other than the ransom can you offer which will influence the kidnappers to be more cooperative? What will you ask for in return? 

1. The kidnappers are certainly worried that when you hand over the money there is an ambush with SWAT teams waiting for them. If you can find a way that is safe for them, they will be listening. 
2. You want to make sure the hostages are unharmed. 
3. You want to ask that the kidnappers do not just rob another one of your ships next month. 

When you can look beyond the initial scope, you may find that your counterpart is willing to concede after all, or even you are willing to concede, because you can get something else also important to you. 

Master negotiator tip #5

 

Name it to tame it - address the emotions. 

This will sound like a rather "Western" thing. In Asian culture, people usually don't talk about emotions. Certainly we don't consider it in business or work related negotiations. So this feels awkward to us. 

Explicitly addressing an emotion can be an important step in preventing a negotiation from being derailed by impulse and ego. 

"I sense you are frustrated when I ask that you provide ROI projections."  Stating this makes your counterpart realise he doesn't need to get frustrated, or it allows him to express why he is frustrated, so that you can better understand his concerns. 

"When I suggest this alternative, you reject it immediately before I explain the details. I feel disappointed and it seems to me you are not willing to hear my perspective."  Stating this helps your counterpart see from your angle and empathise with your position. At the same time it anchors you to stay calm. 

Naming the emotion resets and centres the negotiation to working out a win-win. 

Master negotiator tip #4

 

Ask open questions. 

Don't be fixated on the parts you get stuck on, else you cannot move forward. Ask open questions so that you can discover more about what is important to your counterpart. Open questions invite your counterpart to share information and views which you otherwise might not know. From there maybe there is something else you can offer. An HR Manager looking to retain talent may ask, "What would it take for you to reconsider staying with us?" 

Don't ask "why" questions, because they are often interpreted as challenges or judgement. Ask "what" and "how" questions. "How can I structure this deal so that it makes more sense to you?" 

Master negotiator tip #3

 

Keep your own ego in check.  

We want to win. We think highly of ourselves. We feel we deserve more. We feel insulted when the other party offers less than what we expected. Sometimes it is because of our ego that we become stubborn and unable, or even unwilling, to see the true picture. So yes, sometimes we are the problem. Now this is not about always giving in to the other party's requests. It is about taking a fair and unbiased view. 

In one negotiation I have experienced personally, when presented with the initial offer, my first instinct was this was a lowball offer and an insult. I wanted to respond by stating my ask, and telling them to just take it or leave it. I stopped myself, and spent some time researching the market rates for this nature of work. I found out that even considering the various factors like my experience and the topic of training, the offer was reasonable. I accepted it, and avoided the unnecessary tedious haggling, which might not have produced results anyway. It saved everyone's time, and we all got what we wanted. 

Master negotiator tip #2

 

Understand and address the emotions. 

Some negotiations go nowhere because both parties are emotionally charged. People become stubborn and unreasonable when they are emotionally charged. In many negotiations, the physical items being fought over, or the tasks being debated, are not actually the main point. You need to address the emotions involved. 

One minor shareholder who has been with the business for 20 years wants to exit and wants to sell his shares to the majority shareholder. He asks for a much higher price than the market value. The majority shareholder wants to buy the shares, but not at such a price. They are stuck because no one is willing to give in. What emotions are not being addressed? For the minor shareholder, money is not the only thing he wants. Even if he does not say it, he wants to feel appreciated and recognised for his contributions to the company for those 20 years of his life. Possibly he is asking for a high price because he feels he has been underappreciated for many years. If this is never discussed or addressed, the two parties may never reach an outcome they are both happy with. 

Master negotiator tip #1

 

Be on the same side. 

Most people when they consider themselves in a negotiation, they automatically see themselves in a zero sum game. You and the other party are on opposite ends of a table. When one side gains, the other loses. So both sides fight mercilessly to get what they want. This limiting mindset results in many people walking away from negotiations having gained little or nothing. 

What master negotiators do is they learn to understand their counterpart and see from their perspective. They build trust and try to help their counterpart achieve what is most important for them. When you frame a negotiation as a problem to solve together instead of a tug of war, you will be more creative in finding a solution. 

How leaders handle incompetence #5

 

Strong leaders often feel frustrated by the incompetence they see in their organisations. One important thing we must do is to 

reflect on our own definitions of competence. Is it really a competence problem, or do you just want things your way? We become leaders because we are good at what we do. From our successful experiences, we have formed opinions and preferences on how things should be done. When things are not done exactly how we would have done them, we feel it's not good enough. 

When we ask our teams to complete a task, we have to be precise and fair about what the desired outcome is. We have every right to expect nothing less, and we must also remind ourselves to expect nothing more. Sometimes it is those unspoken expectations that frustrate not only ourselves, but also our teams. 

How leaders handle incompetence #4

 

I learned this simple framework about understanding why people do not perform. Reasons for underperformance can be classified into four types:

1. Don't know - They don't even realise that they are performing below expectations. 
2. Don't know how - They know what they are supposed to do, but they can't do it. They are not trained. They have never been taught. 
3. Can't - They know how to do the job, but they are not given the resources or the authority to do it. 
4. Won't - They have everything they need to do the job, but they choose not to. 

If the reason is (1), then we must clearly communicate our expectations and our standards. If (2), we teach them, train them, or find other ways for them to learn what they need to do. If (3), we need to give them the budget, we need to secure enough other people whose support they need, and so on. (4) is more complicated. Is it because they are forced to work with someone they don't like? Do they feel the work is beneath them? Do they not trust you? There are many possibilities. 

This tool is simple, and what it does is it tells us instead of feeling frustrated and complaining about incompetence, we must think deeply about the root causes, identify them, and take the right actions to address them. 

How leaders handle incompetence #3

 

Train your people. Teach them. Guide them. Give them learning resources. Assign them mentors. Motivate them to want to learn and be better at their jobs. I'm not saying this just because I am a leadership trainer and more companies looking for training means more business for me. When you know the reason your staff cannot do their jobs is they don't know how to do it, the simple answer is they need to learn. 

In some companies this is a glaring gap. Yet often no action is taken to address it. There is a reason why mature and international companies have a Learning & Development department. This is something SME's can learn from - being deliberate in identifying skill gaps and investing in upskilling the workforce. People need skills to do their jobs. They need skills to be able to create more value for the company. 

How leaders handle incompetence #2

 

If an employee is not performing, sometimes the best decision is to let the person go. This is a simple answer which everyone knows, but when it comes to actually doing it, many will say "it's not as easy as you think". I'm not just talking about legal matters and HR procedures. Many leaders just don't want to be the bad person asking the employee to leave. Or we fear damaging morale because the person has been with the company for so long. 

In one real case study, two business partners couldn't agree on whether to let an underperforming employee go. The first said we should help every employee, and this guy has been loyal to us for many years. The second said I don't stop you from helping him. You can employ him with your own money as your personal assistant and driver, but as decision makers for the company we cannot use company money to employ a person who is unable to perform his tasks. The company needs to be responsible to and fair to every employee. A company which tolerates underperformance invites more underperformance. As leaders, we need to be ready to make tough decisions. 

How leaders handle incompetence #1

 

All of us experience this. An employee who simply doesn't get the job done. You give him the time and resources he needs. What you ask of him is not complicated. Yet he makes mistakes which are so fundamental that it makes you wonder whether he is qualified for his position in the first place. It is frustrating. 

The first thing you need to ask is this - are you making it worse? 

Time and again, I observe leaders who worsen the performance of their staff. Yes, often these employees are indeed not performing up to par, and it is understandable that we feel frustrated. However, when we only show impatience and distrust, and we mercilessly criticise every mistake, it doesn't help the situation. It only helps us vent. There are more practical steps we can take. The first thing we need to have awareness of is whether we are making things worse. If our employees constantly work in fear, their performance will likely worsen, not improve.