冲突管理：重演和地雷 Conflict Management: Patterns and land mines

 

（1）冲突往往会发生在同样的议题、被同样的状况引发。没有正视问题、没有治根，同样的冲突就会重演。问题在重演，是有迹可循的。要打破僵局，首先要懂得认清在重复的事。

（2）别人的地雷：什么事会触发对方？导致事情谈不下去？不一定需要逃避讨论。可以延后处理，或要有同理心的去处理。明知道有地雷就不要一脚踩下去。

（3）自己的地雷：什么事会触发自己？自己是否可以安定情绪冷静面对？为什么这事情会让自己失衡？

这些都是冲突管理要思考的事。 (1) Conflicts ofter recur, repeating the same patterns. The same situations and topics keep triggering the same conflicts, because we never address the root causes. Notice the patterns, and break them.

(2) What triggers your counterpart and make it impossible to continue any effective discussion? You don't always have to avoid the topic, but sometimes it is better to defer the discussion, or it needs to be handled with empathy and sensitivity. Don't stomp on land mines.

(3) What triggers you? What does it unbalance you? Can you face it while staying cool and rational? Would that work better?

These are what we need to think about when navigating conflicts.