"I don't have time"

 

It's not actually about time. It's always about priority. We "don't have time" to coach an employee, reorganise our divisions, plan team development, play with our children, exercise, or date our spouses. It's not because we don't have time. It's because we give these activities lower priorities than other tasks. That is a sobering thought. "I have these three meetings scheduled. They are more important to me than helping my subordinate plan his career development". "I need to make sure this proposal is perfect so that I can send it out first thing Monday. It is more important to me than bringing my family to the camping trip".

No one has time. Whenever we are asked to do something extra, we feel overwhelmed and that we can never find time for it.

Yet everyone has time. It's just about what you have chosen to do with it. 

冲突管理：重演和地雷 Conflict Management: Patterns and land mines

 

（1）冲突往往会发生在同样的议题、被同样的状况引发。没有正视问题、没有治根，同样的冲突就会重演。问题在重演，是有迹可循的。要打破僵局，首先要懂得认清在重复的事。

（2）别人的地雷：什么事会触发对方？导致事情谈不下去？不一定需要逃避讨论。可以延后处理，或要有同理心的去处理。明知道有地雷就不要一脚踩下去。

（3）自己的地雷：什么事会触发自己？自己是否可以安定情绪冷静面对？为什么这事情会让自己失衡？

这些都是冲突管理要思考的事。 (1) Conflicts ofter recur, repeating the same patterns. The same situations and topics keep triggering the same conflicts, because we never address the root causes. Notice the patterns, and break them.

(2) What triggers your counterpart and make it impossible to continue any effective discussion? You don't always have to avoid the topic, but sometimes it is better to defer the discussion, or it needs to be handled with empathy and sensitivity. Don't stomp on land mines.

(3) What triggers you? What does it unbalance you? Can you face it while staying cool and rational? Would that work better?

These are what we need to think about when navigating conflicts.

The Laws of Human Nature

 

A big part of, or maybe the only part of, being an effective leader, is understanding people. This book from Robert Greene offers many case studies, scenarios and perspectives. Leaders need to understand not only others around them, but also themselves. Equipped with the right frameworks and knowledge, we improve the productivity, livelihood, and lives of people in our charge.

leadership skills in a different context

"You are so good at work, why can't you apply it at home?"

I am coaching a people leader at a multinational corporation, and this was what her mother once said to her. Why indeed. She can navigate the complex politics at work and handle the different emotions and needs of her many team members. People see her as a source of positive energy, always supportive and able to defuse tense situations. But at home, she struggles to manage her own children. One reason a child is harder to handle than a network of colleagues is we are much more emotionally involved. We can be calm and rational when dealing with work issues, but at home it's not as easy to be objective and detached. You can quit your job, but you can't fire your son. Do you think leaderships skills can be applied at home?