Master negotiator tip #6

 

Look beyond what you are negotiating. 

If both parties fixate on the price, and neither are willing to concede, the negotiation goes nowhere. You need to explore what else you can ask for from your counterpart which is also important to you, or what else you can offer which is important to them. 

When teaching negotiation skills, I give my students this negotiation scenario for discussion. A ship has been captured by pirates, and the pirates are asking the shipping company for a ransom. If you are the negotiator of the shipping company, what else other than the ransom can you offer which will influence the kidnappers to be more cooperative? What will you ask for in return? 

1. The kidnappers are certainly worried that when you hand over the money there is an ambush with SWAT teams waiting for them. If you can find a way that is safe for them, they will be listening. 
2. You want to make sure the hostages are unharmed. 
3. You want to ask that the kidnappers do not just rob another one of your ships next month. 

When you can look beyond the initial scope, you may find that your counterpart is willing to concede after all, or even you are willing to concede, because you can get something else also important to you. 

Master negotiator tip #5

 

Name it to tame it - address the emotions. 

This will sound like a rather "Western" thing. In Asian culture, people usually don't talk about emotions. Certainly we don't consider it in business or work related negotiations. So this feels awkward to us. 

Explicitly addressing an emotion can be an important step in preventing a negotiation from being derailed by impulse and ego. 

"I sense you are frustrated when I ask that you provide ROI projections."  Stating this makes your counterpart realise he doesn't need to get frustrated, or it allows him to express why he is frustrated, so that you can better understand his concerns. 

"When I suggest this alternative, you reject it immediately before I explain the details. I feel disappointed and it seems to me you are not willing to hear my perspective."  Stating this helps your counterpart see from your angle and empathise with your position. At the same time it anchors you to stay calm. 

Naming the emotion resets and centres the negotiation to working out a win-win. 

Master negotiator tip #4

 

Ask open questions. 

Don't be fixated on the parts you get stuck on, else you cannot move forward. Ask open questions so that you can discover more about what is important to your counterpart. Open questions invite your counterpart to share information and views which you otherwise might not know. From there maybe there is something else you can offer. An HR Manager looking to retain talent may ask, "What would it take for you to reconsider staying with us?" 

Don't ask "why" questions, because they are often interpreted as challenges or judgement. Ask "what" and "how" questions. "How can I structure this deal so that it makes more sense to you?"