Do you feel uncomfortable doing business networking?

 

I used to feel uncomfortable with the idea of business networking, because I felt I was meeting people with a selfish motive. I was greeting people with the intention of doing business, of selling something. I felt I wasn't being genuine. I had an agenda. That was how I perceived others who did business networking too. "What is this guy trying to sell me?" 

I now take a different perspective. When I do business networking, I am doing it for 114 other friends too, not just myself. I go out there to understand and learn from what people do. I try to find out whether they have problems they need solved. If there is a problem to be solved, I try to see whether I can help, or whether any of my business collaborators can. Business networking is about learning what other people do, what problems they solve, and why they are unique. Business networking is about helping to connect people with problems to people with solutions. And that's a meaningful thing to do. 

The power of taking negative feedback well

 

This is something I learned from designing games, and not just from training feedback forms. Positive and negative feedback are both important. Positive feedback is important because it tells you what are important to your audience, and moving forward you want to retain and enhance those aspects of your product or service. Negative feedback is important because that's when you realise your weaknesses and shortfalls. That's when you improve. 

In the past when I received negative feedback on my game designs, one impulse I often had was to explain why the game worked that way. I later learned that the best way to take negative feedback is to simply accept them. Don't be defensive. Encourage the person to share their feelings, experience and suggestions. It is important to understand them and why your product doesn't meet their expectations. It is not just about your product. It is also about your audience. Accepting feedback does not mean you will follow every suggestion. Your product cannot make everyone happy, but you do want to delight your most important customers. 

Negative feedback is often more valuable than the transaction itself. Treasure it. 

Don't make people feel stupid

 

I once got very close to losing an important deal because I neglected this principle. I was in negotiation with a larger organisation. The person assigned to work with me had errors in his work. He also made late requests, which was difficult for me to fulfil. I tried to be patient and polite in pointing out the problems and risks, but I might have come across as somewhat condescending. My counterpart wanted to call off the deal. It took some effort to get back to the negotiation table and to eventually work something out. Sometimes whether or not you are right and how competent you are are not the most important things. If you are not sensitive about the other party's feelings and perspectives, you damage relationships unnecessarily. Everyone wants to be respected and heard. Be helpful. Be supportive. Be someone people enjoy working with, and you will get a lot done and save much heartache.

What patterns are you repeating?

 

Many of us repeat the same patterns, and because of that we are unable to get out of problems we face. Sometimes we don't realise it. Sometimes we are unwilling or afraid to change. The more we repeat the patterns, the more ingrained they become. It can be things we keep doing (tolerating poor behaviour at the workplace, recurring disagreements with a family member), or things we never take the time to do (revamping an outdated business process, meeting up with an old friend).

What patterns are you repeating?

How do you make time for all the things you want to do?

 

Time management is actually about priority management. There are ten things you desperately need to do. You should not be trying to do all ten. Instead you have to learn to pick three. Time management is very much about saying no to some things you want to do. More tips on time management in my recent article below. 

https://www.simplifypeople.com/articles/effective-time-management

People don't quit jobs. They quit bosses.

 

Count the number of times you left a job. What's the percentage where the boss was a major factor? When I looked back at my past jobs, I realised that percentage is quite high. The boss you have determines your daily work life, your learning opportunities, your career growth, whether you're happy at work.

Here's a more optimistic way to look at it. People stay because of the boss too. Are you a leader people will stay for?

Being a leader people want to follow is learnable. It is a choice.

Measuring Life

 

"Stop believing you are what you do (achievement), what others say about you (image), what you have (status), and what you control (power). Instead, ask what do you stand for, who have you helped, what seeds have you planted, and how do you want to be remembered. Invest your time and energy accordingly. "

- Chip Conley, author of "Learning to Love Midlife"